You're most important to me,
in my life you're two things I have to live without,
but can't live without. (And only you can understand)
It was hard to write about you yesterday,
maybe that's why I unconsciously forgot.
All the memories, all the imaginary scenes,
they'll stay with me forever.
I love you two so much, you're just like me, you're a best friend, I wish we could be together at last, again, not like in my dreams.
I wish you were still having birthdays. I wish we wouldn't all have to suffer. I wish and cry.
That's why God doesn't exist. That's why humanity is so horrible. That's why I've given up trying to understand people.
I wish never to be you, only to have such a great love. Because I already have one of the two you've got, but I'm missing the other one. I wish never to be you just because it would mean loss and pain. But you're clever, good, and loving. And you're not giving up on him even though he might not survive. That pain proves it all. But I know I don't need that pain to prove anything, because mere speculation brings the pain over and that does it all.

16-10-09