So strange this is, so contradictory... im sitting in my bed with so many tears... I want now to give up... I now want to stop it, I now... want to give up.... strong? am I?... not sure anymore friend... I try... but trying is not enough... I try, but trying is just trying... I can be better, I can be someone, I can give so much more... but I get tired. I get... there is no soul to understand... no real eyes to see it, just self comments on how I overreact and how a drama soul I can be... and stupid answers everyone will say... focus on this, or just on that, but... I need to touch the white and light blue, I need to reach to the brighest and shinning dot upthere.... I want But here is where I am... with tears on my eyes... and now trying to... but again someone is calling me... to sleep.... to rest and I need to just close my eyes and let this go... in this other life where everything is so briliant and there is no pain, there is no reality... that's where I need to be the rest of my life....